What do you think about this ? How may I feel for all the things I've done in the name of people I don't even know the f***** name !
I betrayed friends, I stabbed confidences, in the name of damned people who don't even regret theses requests.
And for what ?
What happens here ?
People that counted so much for me have all disapeared...
I succeded in the perfect social suicide... and what did I gain ? Nothing.
Soul Peace ? I don't even know that this bastard word may exist in my vocabulary.
I hurted badly people I loved cheerfully, I've destroyed ideas and plans... and so what ?
Am I better ? Do I feel better ? Do I have made the right choices ?
I don't know, I'd rather not think about it.
Perhaps the idea of giving up all to take care about people I loved may had preserved my love, my friends and my life.
*sigh* so much stupid ideas that need to get out of my head, and so I use this damned journal to write down my darkest thought, sorry for those who will read this, that don't really concern you, it's just a way for me to express my rage and frustration that live here, on the disappointings ruins of a bloody heart, beating on rythm of dead stars...
I think I feel bad since I know I've lost her. So bad, but I'd knew that the path I walk on was killing the relationship I could have built with my so sweet miss.
If I'd have to express only one regret, I think it's about her... I only regret the fact that I've made her so disappointed that she have closed all doors wich gave a path to her heart. Good luck to the next, I don't made you a gift by doing the things I've done...
Sorry for this, but, no matter, just raging myself about criminal things I've done, destroying all in my path and so muche other things just for "fun" as they say.
Don't take care...